Monthly Archives: July 2017

Random Post 17

Apologies if I haven’t been keeping my blogs up to date.

Making friends is a hit or miss because you don’t know who they really are. And if they want to be your friend or not.

Also, I think its because when you become their friend and then once they leave they change their mind and don’t want to be your friend anymore. So.. say your somewhere, online or real life and you decide to become someones friend, and they accept your friend request or something along the lines of that.

Then once they leave, you realize that they are no longer your friend. You think to yourself.. “Have I done something wrong?” Well, this could mean two things. You were their friend for a few minutes then the next thing you know they are no longer your friend anymore.

The second thing is that don’t blame yourself. Maybe they just wanted to give you a test run as a friend then figure out where to go next. So maybe they didn’t like your personality or maybe you were more of a reserved calm person.

Maybe its the way we act, or something like that. But don’t let that distract you. There are other people out there that are still your friend. Even if you don’t believe it. First impressions are not that easy and it will take courage or confidence to do so.

I think its possible that we are different and people may see us differently too. I’m more quiet and shy and I have a fear of people judging me based on who I am. That’s why I have a hard time meeting people and trying to be their friend as well. I may have said this on one of my previous posts..

Even though I may be wrong on this.. sort of.

Random Post 16

Making friends can be a bit difficult sometimes. Real life or online. Because even though you do make those friends, at some point friendships will fall apart. And it will make you think that it’s your fault.

And your feelings are hurt because of it. You will end up blaming yourself. That’s how I feel sometimes when I lose a friend. Or try to make any. Because that’s what I fear the most. Making a friend or a few friends and then have everything fall apart at one point.

That’s why I have a hard time making friends because of this. Because I am very emotional and sensitive. And the bad part is that when you lose a friend, sometimes you don’t get a reason.

I don’t think I’m a good person at all. I try being a good person but I’m worried about telling people how I feel without sounding like a bad person. I want to say what’s on my mind but I fear that people will hate me for it as well. I am hurt and confused.. and many other words which will take me longer to list.

All I want to do is make friends without being hard on myself and not screw up. But I can’t. I can’t do it, even if I try. I hate acting like this. I hate all of this negative emotion inside. I hate having to worry about everything. I hate the fact that I am always thinking that everything is my fault when it isn’t.

And.. it’s tearing me up inside having to type all of this out.