Making friends can be a bit difficult sometimes. Real life or online. Because even though you do make those friends, at some point friendships will fall apart. And it will make you think that it’s your fault.

And your feelings are hurt because of it. You will end up blaming yourself. That’s how I feel sometimes when I lose a friend. Or try to make any. Because that’s what I fear the most. Making a friend or a few friends and then have everything fall apart at one point.

That’s why I have a hard time making friends because of this. Because I am very emotional and sensitive. And the bad part is that when you lose a friend, sometimes you don’t get a reason.

I don’t think I’m a good person at all. I try being a good person but I’m worried about telling people how I feel without sounding like a bad person. I want to say what’s on my mind but I fear that people will hate me for it as well. I am hurt and confused.. and many other words which will take me longer to list.

All I want to do is make friends without being hard on myself and not screw up. But I can’t. I can’t do it, even if I try. I hate acting like this. I hate all of this negative emotion inside. I hate having to worry about everything. I hate the fact that I am always thinking that everything is my fault when it isn’t.

And.. it’s tearing me up inside having to type all of this out.